FW: A Little Humor for us Safety Folks!

["Mercado, Don" <don.mercado@lmco.com>]

> THE SAFETY PROFESSIONAL
> Sandwiched tightly between Top Brass and the teaming masses sits a
> wild-eyed individual madly singing a safety tune.  He's the most
> misunderstood, maligned and unsung person in all the world of business.
> He's the proverbial "SAFETY PROFESSIONAL".
> This fellow's a little bit of all stratas....a member of none.  To the
> employee or worker he's a tool of management; to management, he's just
> another employee.
> He finds his job interesting.  He speaks for management from the "Ivory
> Tower" and then runs out to the Press Room, Warehouse or Work Site to hear
> how it sounds.  He must keep his head in the "brass' board room", his feet
> in the grass.... a difficult position to keep from falling on his (*#*!*
> (back side?).
> He has the curiosity of a cat....the tenacity of a mother in law...  the
> determination of a taxi driver...the nervous system of a race car
> driver...the digestive capacity of a goat...the simplicity of a
> jackass...the diplomacy of a wayward husband...the hide of a
> rhinoceros...the speed of a rocket and the good humor of an idiot.
> He has the activest, busiest, shrewdest, plottingest, worryingest, most
> thoroughly washed brain of any human.  His mail basket is the fullest, his
> desk is the messiest and his calendar the memoist. Nobody has been given
> the run-around as often, has been passed so many bucks, is left holding so
> many bags, has cut his was through so much red tape.
> The SAFETY PROFESSIONAL keeps the coffee plantations, aspirin plants,
> liquor distilleries and the midnight oil companies in business.  He must
> tread lightly over mountains of eggs and of course must know where to
> tread..but most important of all, when and where NOT to tread.  You'll
> find him everywhere...shouting loudly over the din of a bunch of roaring
> engines, whispering softly in the hallowed precincts of thick carpeted
> offices.
> Whenever there is an accident, the SAFETY PROFESSIONAL is often called in
> to explain why and how it happened.  He's expected pull rabbits out of
> nonexistent hats; when the job is thankless, he gets it.  He must engender
> interests in good housekeeping to people who think their house is
> clean...promote responsibility to people who wonder why he doesn't
> practice it himself..preach safety to people who think they don't need it.
> Despite all the careful planning he is usually found dangling on a
> deadline...he's the original cat on the hot tin roof...in the middle of a
> muddle and of course LATE.   The mast of understatement, he must make fire
> protection sound as essential as religion and an accident cost sound like
> the national debt.
> He's suppose to be a "specialist" who can breath new life into committees
> and meetings...leadership into management...cooperation into supervisory
> personnel..responsibility into employees/workers.  He must inspire without
> propaganda...propagandize without being obvious. He parks his 1980's
> jalopy between the boss' new Mercedes and the janitor's SUV.  When he's
> clever, is goes unnoticed...when he stubs his toe, the world is there to
> see and mock it.
> To him a headache is normal; he'd have ulcers if he could afford them.  He
> has more critics than Harry Truman.  He meets more people who think they
> know more about safety than the company has conveyor hooks.
> He can never be right.  When he simplifies, he's writing down.  When he
> gets a little technical, he's over their head.  Half the people wonder
> what he does...the other half know what he does but think he's doing it
> wrong!  When an idea turns out lousy and after the blame has been
> thoroughly kicked between the employee/worker, foreman and supervisor, it
> winds up in his lap.
> More people bend his ear than anybody else's.  Everybody thinks he always
> has time to stop and listen to a joke...hear a gripe...attend a
> meeting...serve on a committee.  He does, and winds up taking most of his
> work home.
> He has no peer in the realm of praise, propaganda and procrastination.
> He knows he's right; only the world thinks he's wrong.
> If he has an idea, it was stolen.  However, a stolen idea is research!
> Where else do you think the background material for this sad tale of woe
> about a Safety Professional originated?
> SUMMARY:
> A SAFETY PROFESSIONAL is a jack-of-all trades, with an excessive amount of
> courage...an unholy gift of gab and the oily persuasiveness of a used car
> salesman.  However, one must always remember that SAFETY is the greatest
> MORALE BUILDER and FOCAL POINT of any successful organization.
> Author unknown but reprinted
> with sympathy.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
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