# [ RadSafe ] Funny one

LNMolino at aol.com LNMolino at aol.com
Tue Dec 27 12:23:02 CST 2005

```
The  Physics of Santa and His Reindeer

No known species  of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be  classified, and while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not  COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has
ever seen.

There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT  since
Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist  children,
that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — There are two according to
Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)  rate of  3.5 children  per
household, that's   per house homes. One presumes there's at  least one good
child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work  with, thanks to the different time
zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming  he travels east to west (which
seems logical). This works out to Santa has 31 h per second.

This is to say that for each Christian  household with good children, Santa
has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of  the sleigh, jump down the
chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining  presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the  chimney, get back into the
sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that  each of these This is to s
stops are evenly distributed around the  earth (which, of course, we know to be
false but for the purposes of our  calculations we will accept), we are now
talking about  stops ar  per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not
counting stops to do what  most of us must do at least once every   per ho
plus feeding and  etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second,  3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made
vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky This means t per second -
a conventional reindeer can run, tops,  per secon per hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good  children were to put out a
single chocolate chip cookie and an If every  glass of  glass o the total
calories (needless to say  other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately
the total c  (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or
take).  Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225
x 91.8  x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that
night, which  is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further,   (100 is
equal to  is  equal to Dividing our total number of calories by  the number of
calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of  pounds Santa
gains, 5901428.6, which is  Dividing ou

each child  gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the
sleigh is  carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described
as  overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than The
payload Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN  TIMES
the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need
214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of  the
sleigh) - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the
weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at  Even gra  per second
creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in  the same
fashion as spacecraft   per seco the earth's atmosphere.  The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb  the earth's atm joules of  energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost  instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic  booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporized within  In short, they w of a second. Santa,
meanwhile, will be subjected  to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
than gravity. A 250-pound Santa  (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned
to the back of his sleigh by  4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver  presents on Christmas Eve, he's

Louis N.  Molino, Sr., CET
FF/NREMT-B/FSI/EMSI
LNMolino at aol.com
979-690-7559  (Office)
979-690-7562 (Office Fax)

"A Texan with a Jersey  Attitude"

The comments contained in this E-mail are the opinions of the  author and the
author alone. I in no way ever intend to speak for any person or
organization that I am in any way whatsoever involved or associated with unless  I
specifically state that I am doing so. Further this E-mail is intended only  for its
stated recipient and may contain private and or confidential materials
retransmission is strictly prohibited unless placed in the public domain by the
original author.

```