[ RadSafe ] Funny one
LNMolino at aol.com
LNMolino at aol.com
Tue Dec 27 12:23:02 CST 2005
The Physics of Santa and His Reindeer
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and
germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has
ever seen.
There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children,
that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — There are two according to
Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per
household, that's per house homes. One presumes there's at least one good
child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time
zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which
seems logical). This works out to Santa has 31 h per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa
has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the
chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the
sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these This is to s
stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now
talking about stops ar per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not
counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every per ho
plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made
vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky This means t per second -
a conventional reindeer can run, tops, per secon per hour.
If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a
single chocolate chip cookie and an If every glass of glass o the total
calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately
the total c (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or
take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225
x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that
night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, (100 is
equal to is equal to Dividing our total number of calories by the number of
calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa
gains, 5901428.6, which is Dividing ou
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the
sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described
as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than The
payload Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN TIMES
the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need
214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the
sleigh) - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the
weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at Even gra per second
creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same
fashion as spacecraft per seco the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb the earth's atm joules of energy. Per second. Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporized within In short, they w of a second. Santa,
meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned
to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.
Louis N. Molino, Sr., CET
FF/NREMT-B/FSI/EMSI
LNMolino at aol.com
979-690-7559 (Office)
979-690-7562 (Office Fax)
"A Texan with a Jersey Attitude"
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