Re: Fwd: Shielding and Bridge Design

[maury <maury@WEBTEXAS.COM>]

Gee, I don't get it ... why did Steg resign? Jake (the 95 lb. black lab that

allows me to live here so long as I maintain the food and water supply) just

started barking and raising a real fuss at the front window. I looked out and

there was an elephant plodding down the street and carrying a load of lead

pigs. Back up the street, there were large holes where sewer lines had broken

in two places. At our next town meeting, I'm going to urge adoption of ASRA

(and NMLP - no more lead pigs).  I rent so the property taxes won't bother me

at all ....

I think Jake now wants an elephant for a pet .... Steg had better wise up and

learn where his grants are going to come from.

Maury Siskel    maury@webtexas.com

========================================

Chris Alston wrote:



> >From: Robert Dixon <rdixon@WFUBMC.EDU>

> >Organization: Wake Forest University School of Medicine

> >

> >A Parody:

> >A wise old regulator, Steg O'Saurus, had just finished  a regulatory

> >guide on bridge design, when his new boss, Rock Maninoff, who had just

> >transferred over from the radiation protection division, walked in and

> >said:

> >"Steg, I don't like your guide. The equations are too realistic- you've

> >got to change it."

> >"I can't do that", replied Steg, "it would be dishonest"

> >"Well then just double the gravitational constant- put it in some

> >obscure units or hide it in the tables and they'll be none-the-wiser. I

> >want our bridges to be the strongest in the land!"

> >Steg replied: "How can we do that? Don't we rely on the engineers to

> >design a safe bridge?"

> >Rock: " Where I come from, we call it being conservative, and doubling

> >gravity is conservative. In fact henceforth we will be using the ASARA

> >principle- As Strong as Reasonably Achievable."

> >Steg: "What the heck does that mean?"

> >Rock: "That's the beauty of it- it means whatever we want it to!

> >Remember, people aren't going to be crossing just the one bridge. They

> >may cross several in a week, and the risk goes up at every bridge

> >crossing. In fact, the first bridge you cross could collapse, so there's

> >no threshold, and we will assume that the risk goes up linearly with the

> >number of bridge crossings. Hey, maybe we could impose a limit on the

> >number of bridge crossings a member of the public could make in  a year-

> >call it the MPBC."

> >Steg thought to himself: 'Is this guy nuts!' "What about the risk of

> >just driving down the highway?"

> >Rock: "Not our department's problem- we're just concerned with the

> >bridges"

> >Rock: "And what about workload assumptions? I want to assume that all

> >traffic is tractor trailers"

> >Steg: "What about a tank batallion?"

> >Rock: "Good point! What if the bridge designers in the Alps had not

> >forseen Hannibal crossing the Alps.  You've got to think ahead."

> >Steg: "Well how heavy are the tractor trailers in real gravity units?"

> >Rock: "Hmmm.. they could be carrying a load of lead bricks."

> >Steg: " How many bricks is that?"

> >Rock: " Well we've got to assume the entire volume of the trailer is

> >filled with lead- just to be conservative."

> >Steg: " Wouldn't that break the axles?"

> >Rock: " Look Steg, we're designing bridges- not trucks! It's not our

> >problem. You've got to stop thinking like that if  we're going to get

> >along."

> >Steg turned in his resignation that afternoon.

>

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