7th Grade Science Class (humor?)

[Jim, Hoerner]

The Green Pasture Atomic Energy Farm, in order to be

a good corporate citizen, and having nothing to do whatever

with spreading propaganda, often sends some of its bests folks

to speak to local school children.



Since everyone else was travelling, on vacation, or out sick with

strange rashes that have absolutely nothing to do with radiation,

it was my turn.



I planned an awesome demonstration with things little boys and

girls can relate to.



Earth worms, and plutonium.



As I'm setting up my experiment a little boy raises his hand and

says, "Scuse me, Mr. Hoerner sir..."



"Please, call me Jim.  Now don't bug me, kid; this is serious stuff

I'm working with here."



So, I get out two earth worms and two beakers.  The beaker

with the plutonium in it is made of thick, leaded, pyrex glass which

should protect everyone from the radiation and keep it subcritical

at all times.  In the other beaker, I fill it about half empty of water,

and place it next to the other one.



At which point I notice that the beaker with water in it is marked

"Pyrex", so I slowly move it away from the plutonium.  Not feeling

sick yet, I decide to continue.



I get out my two healthy earth worms and place them on the table

where they wiggle about.  I drop the first worm into the beaker of

water, where it drops to the bottom and wiggles about.



I drop the second worm into the beaker with plutonium in it,

and it immediately shrivels up and dies.  I ask the class if anyone

could come up with a conclusion based upon their observations.



Norm, an awkward little boy who had been held back a few times

asks "plutonium is one of the most deadly subtances on earth?"



To which I reply, "Kid, I asked for a conclusion, which is a statement.

You asked a question which is more like a hypothesis.  You're wrong."



Johnny, the class clown who somehow always managed to ace the tests chimes 

in,

"Silly Norm.  The answer is that if you get enough radiation, you won't get 

worms."



"Give that boy a cigar!"



--

Hold the door for the stranger behind you. When the driver a half-car-length 

in front of you signals to get over, slow down. Smile and say "hi" to the 

folks you pass on the sidewalk. Give blood. Volunteer.



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