Happy Hanukkah! (humor?)

["Jim Hoerner" <jim_hoerner@HOTMAIL.COM>]

Top 10 Reasons Hanukkah is Cooler than Christmas

  at the Green Pasture Atomic Energy Farm

----------------------------------------------------------------------



10.  There's no "Simpsons with Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special" that the guys 

on the night shift would have to watch.



9.  Eight days of presents instead of one.  Of course, the plant management 

will only give you about 7/8ths of last year's, in the spirit of "cost 

reduction" and "shareholder value", aka, "hoarding greedy corporate 

profits."



8.a.  Everyone still gets to take off December 25th.  Plus, no one can keep 

track of when Hanukkah starts anyway (including Jews until they are asked by 

some Gentile, at which point they consult a calendar).



8.b.  So, anytime the boss asks why you weren't at work yesterday, you can 

reply "didn't you know it was Hanukkah?"  At which point he'll blush and say 

"Oh, sorry".  Doesn't work so well in July, though.  Trust me on this.



C.  Fitness for duty tests are designed to detect egg nog.  But not 

latke-nog.



6.a.  Jim doesn't know any Hanukkah songs.  If you thought his jokes were 

lame, you should here his singing.



6.b.  And there's never a Silent Night when you're among Jewish loved ones 

anyway.



5.  Unlike Christmas lights, menorahs aren't affected by power outages nor 

do they produce nuclear waste nor enormous electric bills.



4.  You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown," nor hear a barking dog 

version of "I had a Little Driedl."



3.  Although you might have to explain to your kids why you have to go to 

work at the plant during the holiday, or even how a menorah stayed lit for 

eight days with only one bottle of oil, you won't have to supply awkward 

explanations of virgin pregnancy or flying reindeer.



2.  Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes and won't be around as long 

as nuclear waste.



1.  Norm's no where to be found!



0.  Bonus!  This year, it falls on the Sabbath, so there's a great excuse 

not to clean the radiological release stack.



Happy Hanukkah.  Or Chanukah or Hannukah, or however you spell it.  :-)



PS:  Someone please explain this joke to MM and the folks at RadSafe :-).



PPS:  Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought all kinds of stuff 

for the guy I help out.  Plus, the rich folks at work pitched in with 

clothes, food, coffee, grocery store certificate, etc.  And, I had lots of 

towels, plates, silverware, pots and pans, etc. in my attic.  I dropped it 

off today and took him to lunch at Pizza Hut and gave him some cash.  Most 

of all, I spent some time with him.  Happy Holidays, y'all.  If you are rich 

like me (I eat every day), be thankful for and share your fortune with 

others if you can.  Hanukkah/Christmas ain't about standing in line at 

WalMart.  Happiness, peace, health and prosperity to you and yours.



Jim



--

Hold the door for the stranger behind you. When the driver in the adjacent 

lane signals to get over, slow down. Smile and say "hi" to the folks you 

pass on the sidewalk. Give blood. Volunteer.



_________________________________________________________________

Working moms: Find helpful tips here on managing kids, home, work —  and 

yourself.   http://special.msn.com/msnbc/workingmom.armx



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