[Humor] Re: PullThePlug on Hoover's Press Release

["Jim Hoerner" <jim_hoerner@HOTMAIL.COM>]

If you enjoy witty humor, you'll hate this.



All in fun,

Jim



--- In Know_Nukes@y..., Norman Cohen <ncohen12@h...> wrote:

>[http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Know_Nukes/message/1176]



01/15/02

For Immediate Release:

NOTE:  SORRY FOR CROSS-POSTINGS.  FORWARD FAR AND WIDE!



Hydro Watchdog Group PullThePlug on Hoover

Releases Dam Sabotage Report:

Calls for Changes or Shutdown of US Hydro Plants



      The Alliance for Worldly Environmental Truce (All WET) has released a 

report from the Scientific Union of Confused Spindoctors (SUCS) that details 

the vulnerabilities of American hydro plants to sabotage. This report is 

being released as part of All WET's petition to the Creek Slime Protection 

Commission (CSPC) for the immediate shutdown of Americas hydro electric dams 

until security upgrades and changes in water storage are in place.



      The report, written by Les Neuron, Hydrodynamic Safety Engineer

for SUCS, "focuses on two main areas: drownings, radioactive releases, and 

health effects associated with hydric acid, a dangerous chemical used at all 

hydroelectric facilities and even nuclear plants.  According to Neuron, the 

hydro plants are "vulnerable to sabotage. The water storage pools at most 

dams are located above-ground.  We would like to see these catastrophes 

waiting to happen moved under ground". The pools would be less vulnerable to 

an air or ground attack that would lead to loss of water, and a radioactive 

release of tritium, Neuron said.



     Penny Watthour, hydro plant employee, added that "dams work on a 

principle of gravity, and they would be entirely useless underground in most 

locations..." before being interrupted by Mr. Neuron who said "Don't believe 

a word of it.  These pundit apologists of the dam dinosaur industry skew all 

of their numbers to support their paychecks!"



    In addition, Neuron states that America's hydro plants are "not 

adequately protected against sabotage from the air or ground involving a 

fire in more than one room or area with the concurrent disabling of 

emergency equipment during an earthquake that occurs on the third Friday 

full-moon of a year during a month beginning with M".



    Originally, the All WET Campaign sent a letter on September 17th 2001 to 

CSPC Chairman, Al G. Greene, requesting the following: That CSPC close all 

US hydro plants; that there be an immediate security upgrade; that the 

plants' defenses be upgraded to withstand a jet crash similar to the 911 

events; that three ham and sausage pizzas with extra cheese and a six pack 

of Mountain Dew be delivered within 30 minutes to All WET's headquarters.



   US Federal Regulation 10.C.F.WE.CARE.2 petitions are the only way that 

citizens and watchdog groups can ask the CSPC to implement rule changes at 

nuclear plants.



    Commented Norm L. Naught, Coordinator of the All WET Campaign, "We have 

many additional security concerns about outdated, dangerous, expensive dams 

besides the two issues mentioned by SUCS."



    The letter of September 17th was prompted by the receipt of information 

that none of the nation's dams, nuclear power plants, pipelines, bridges, 

skyscrapers, oil refineries, sports stadiums, or 7-11 convenience stores 

could withstand a jet crash.  "Nuclear power plants already have enough 

opposition groups fighting for money.  We decided to try to closing all the 

nations 7-11s", Neuron said, "but, thankfully, at our last meeting someone 

realized that we wouldn't have anywhere convenient to buy Mountain Dew, so 

we opted for the hydro plants."



_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.



************************************************************************

You are currently subscribed to the Radsafe mailing list. To unsubscribe,

send an e-mail to Majordomo@list.vanderbilt.edu  Put the text "unsubscribe

radsafe" (no quote marks) in the body of the e-mail, with no subject line. You can view the Radsafe archives at http://www.vanderbilt.edu/radsafe/