Engineering (Health Physics?) Jokes (fwd)

[Bob Hearn <rah@america.net>]

>>      Real "Engineers" (substitute HP/CHPs where you think applicable)...
>>
>>         1. Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks
>>      match.
>>         2. Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers
>>      for their birthday.
>>         3. Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not
>>      because they're lazy.
>>         4. Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
>>         5. Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
>>         6. Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not
>>      their own shirt size.
>>         7. Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones,
>>      televisions, atches, and automatic
>>             transmissions.
>>         8. Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees
>>      Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin"
>>             and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
>>         9. Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation
>>      with a dial tone or busy
>>             signal.
>>        10. Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are.
>>      Sometimes a note is attached
>>              saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
>>        11. Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space
>>      with their name on it and an
>>              office with a window.
>>        12. Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
>>        13. Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
>>        14. Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven
>>      revisions) before making a bird
>>              bath.
>>        15. Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a
>>      copy of "Quantum Physics", and a
>>              half of a peanut butter sandwich.
>>        16. Real Engineers know that Halloween is really the same as
>>      Christmas, because OCT 31 =
>>              DEC 25. (If you _don't_ get it, then you're not a Real
>>      Engineer.)
>>        17. Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
>>