Vacuum Technology

[Chris Davey <cdavey@med.phys.ualberta.ca>]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 9:07:42 (MST)
From: AssocNewsService <ANServ.com>
Reply-To: AssocNewsService <ANServ.com>
To: cdavey@med.phys.ualberta.ca
Subject: [GEMS] News extra: Hazardous CDs

Top News Stories, April 1st, 1998.
CDs create potential hazard.  Buyer beware!

In breaking news this morning, reports of respiratory problems due to
exposure to compact disks are flooding into this newsroom.  According to
experts with Suny, RGA and other CD manufacturers, the problem is caused
by residual effects from the production process, which involves the
use of high vacuum technology.

In certain circumstances, a release of stored energy can cause temporary
reductions in the oxygen content of small rooms, giving rise to a
reduction in cognitive processes, potential symptoms of dizziness, and, in
extreme circumstances, unconsciousness.

An acknowledged expert in this field, Dr. Anthony Noyde, confirmed in a
telephone interview from his home in Nashville, that the use of multiple
CD decks, with 50, 100 or more CDs in them, could theoretically result in
damage to the structure of residential properties, such as broken windows
due to extreme pressure differentials across the surface of the glass.
"Just this morning I heard of a case where a disk jockey lost two fingers
due to explosive decompression as he was loading the final CDs into his
mega-player," Dr. A. Noyde confided.

A staff expert with RGA (who declined to be identified) gave the following
advice: "Each new CD can be rendered safe by exposing it to a 100 decibel
sound packet for a minimum of three minutes.  Make sure the disk is placed
in the centre of a well-ventilated room with the jewel case open for the
duration of this process."  Apparently a good source of sound for this is
any hard rock.  Dr. Noyde commented that country music could also be used,
if the volume were cranked up sufficiently.

<Message ends>

Chris Davey

        RSO  Cross Cancer Institute  11560 University Avenue
        Edmonton   Alberta   Canada  T6G 1Z2
        (403)432-8616   fax 432-8615    email cdavey@med.phys.ualberta.ca
        pager number 005, just call (403) 432-8771 and ask for that pager

P.S.  This sounds about as credible as the LNT hypothesis...