Top Ten Surprises In Iraqi WMD Dossier (humor?)

["Jim Hoerner" <jim_hoerner@HOTMAIL.COM>]

Thanks to David Letterman for a little help with this...





TOP TEN SURPRISES IN THE 12000-PAGE IRAQI DECLARATION



10. The first 5,000 pages are kind of wordy.



9. The nerve gas production "for purely peaceful purposes".



8. The inspirational foreword by Larry King.



7. Every few pages you find a stray mustache hair.



6. Iraq's admission that the suspected nuclear weapons lab bombed by the 

Allies in 1991 was not a infant formula plant after all - it was a bunny 

farm.



5. The whimsical cartoon character "Blinky" who introduces each chapter.



4. At several points "plutonium" is crossed out and "chocolate milk" is 

written in.



3. On the list of weapons of mass destruction, there are suicide bombers, 

oil tankers, liquid natural gas tanks, a rocket-powered goat, and Saddam's 

mother-in-law's meatloaf.



2. For a while Tariq Aziz wrestled under name "Iron Sheik".



1. One of the CDROMs was labled "Saddam's Files" and contained what appears 

to be a collection of cookie recipes, .MP3s, images of nude celebrities, and 

several viruses including TheLoveBug.



0. More fun than Al Gore's new book.



-1. The Institute to Counter Agression by the Great Satan abandoned research 

on a radiological bomb in favor of a dirty diaper bomb.



-2. Not a single smiley :-)





The real, unfunny, Dossier Table of Contents is here: 

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/international/20021210_IRAQ.pdf



Jim



--

Hold the door for the stranger behind you.  When the driver a 

half-car-length in front of you signals to get over, slow down.  Smile and 

say "hi" to the folks you pass on the sidewalk.  Give blood.  Volunteer.







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