NRC Public Meeting (humor?)

["Jim Hoerner" <jim_hoerner@HOTMAIL.COM>]

[Fwd from Know_Nukes]



So, I was at a public meeting the other day.  I was speaking on behalf of

the Green Pasture Atomic Energy Farm's recent license extension submittal...



The room was about half full of anti-nuclear activists.  More appropriately,

half empty, but the other half had the usual bunch of NRC employees, press,

concerned citizens, and utility "plants" ready to ask me questions that I

conveniently already had the answers to - written on the palm of my hand.



Of course, I was dressed to the "T".  As I've always said, if you can't

impress them with your smarts, impress them with your looks.



Anyway, I'm giving my presentation, and all is going as planned.  You

know, boring them to death, telling irrelevant jokes, being certain to

avoid even vague references to the real issues.  Yet all throughout,

the anti-nukes keep heckling.



You know, smirking, asking questions about the Tooth Fairy Project, coughing

"bulloney", etc.



Finally, it got to the point where they started chanting "Nukes glow, wind

blows...  Nukes glow, wind blows...".  On and on and on.  They were really

disruptive.  So much so that I couldn't continue my presentation.



Because I couldn't stop laughing.



So, I finally lost my temper and shouted into the microphone "Half of this

auditorium is made up of clueless activists that would endanger the

population with more harmful forms of energy because of their ignorance

and/or greedy desire for funding!"



The room was silent for a second.  I noticed half of the room had a

pleasantly surprised look of raised eyebrows as if I had just dropped my

pants.  The other half, full of activists, had those "how dare you" looks on

their faces.  As if I had just dropped my pants.



One of the activists gets up, trying as hard as he can to be professional,

announces to everyone, "Commisioner Dudes, that dude better withdraw that

crap he said or his ass is grass.  Oh yeah, and Commissioner Chicks.

Sorry."



After the lead NRC guy (my brother-in-law) quit laughing, he said "Yes, I

think you are correct.  This forum is meant to be an information sharing

session, not a debate about the relative merits of nuclear power."



I'm thinking (and this takes a while for me mind you) "dang, he should know

I'm gonna take this out on his sister when I get home."  Then after a long

pause (I'm thinking again, be patient), I decide that I will comply...



"Okay.  I retract what I said.  HALF of this room is NOT made up of clueless

activists that would endanger the population with more harmful forms of

energy because of their ignorance and/or greedy desire for funding!"







--

If you're pouring it, it half full.  If you're drinking it, it's half empty.



Whoosh.



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