Response to the Tennessean article

[Joelle Key <jkey@mail.state.tn.us>]

FYI-

Another local Nashville paper, The Nashville Scene, had this article in
response to the Tennessean article.  I think it was in the October 21st
issue.

********
The Fabricator

Feds Identify Tennessean Sickness

Scientists at Oak Ridge are baffled by a group of mystery illnesses that
strike without warning, have no known cure or cause, and mysteriously
cluster around a single group: Tennessean readers.

Researchers Thomas Laura and Susan Frank of Oak Ridge's prestigious
"Institute for Sicknesses Seeking Causes" announced their findings
Tuesday.

"We found one Nashville woman who had rheumatism in her left big toe,"
Laura said, "and she told us of a lifetime spent reading The Tennessean. 
She then directed us to a subscriber in the neighborhood who had been
having trouble shaking a cold."

"We found one guy whose right eyeball would myteriously roll back in his
head at odd times," Frank added.  "He wasn't a Tennesean subscriber,
but it turned out he walked by several Tennessean boxes to work every
day, so he was getting secondhand Tennessean exposure."

Smyrna resident Rip Whitman, who was recently diagnosed with cancer,
says he is sure his illness has something to do with his longtime
newspaper reading.

"It's just got to be connected," he said.  "Now I have cancer, the
government won't investigate, and the paper's editor won't return my
calls."

Tennessean editor Frank Sutherland reacted indignantly to the results of
the Oak Ridge study.  "Just going around having sick people describe
their symptoms and then saying that they read the paper doesn't prove
anything," he said.

Congressman Bob Clement vowed to ask for federal investigation of
what is being dubbed the "Tennessean sickness."  "I've been reading
that paper all my live, and just listen to my voice," Clement said.  "This
can't be a coincidence."

*********
This is neither my own writing/opinion nor the opinion of my employer.  I'm
just passing on what I have read.

Joelle Key
jkey@mail.state.tn.us

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